The Apostle Paul prayed the most tender prayer over you:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

As a Christian, you are in a family, and that family has a real Father.

It’s not a cutesy name to endear you to Him or make you trust Him. It’s not a thing where one says, “God wants to be like a father to you.” No. God wants to be a real father to you. For you to know Him as Father. Jesus said so.

When the Spirit of the Father came to dwell in my heart, He began the process of “fathering” me. At first it came mostly through His Word, which I chose to take literally, assuming God meant just what He said. That led to me believing I could know God’s voice in my heart, and once I believed that, His fatherhood became truly personal. I became accustomed to being addressed at times as Daughter, or Little One, and other intimate names.

Once I began to receive the Father’s personal guidance, encouragement and correction, it was a short journey from needing to convince myself of His existence and love to being absolutely confident of it. I wake up every day knowing I am beloved of my heavenly Father, and that He is with me.

So what about my earthly Dad?

I adored my big-hearted Dad. However, Mom divorced him when I was six, so I only saw him every other Christmas and on some weekend visits, because Mom moved us often those first years in search of “home.” I attended seven schools before graduating high school. I knew my Dad loved me dearly, but he was largely absent in the daily moments when I needed what Daddies are meant to offer their children, through no fault of his own.

As I counseled alongside my pastor husband over many years, men and women shared some very sad stories — and not a few horror stories — of how their fathers abused, mistreated, abandoned them emotionally or physically. Many were only guilty of being terribly imperfect, or just plain clueless, likely because their “dad” experience was also bad. So many have no model for how to relate to God as a father. My husband used to give them great advice: “Don’t try to see God as being like your Dad was, but how you wanted and needed your Dad to be.”

Only God can be the perfect Dad. God isn’t aiming to replace your earthly father, but he does want to fill up the places left wanting, empty, or even wounded by your flawed dad. But to enjoy the fatherhood of God, we must have faith that it is real and available. That God is a real father — if you believe.

This is meat to be the foundation of your Christianity.

Knowing God as Father is a step you cannot skip. This is what Apostle Paul meant when he prayed for you to be rooted and established in God’s immeasurable love. Strong roots are vital to the life of anything if it is to thrive. Roots of your relationship with God are no different. Your Christian roots grow best in the fertile soil of God’s father love for you.

The Apostle John double-teamed with Paul when he wrote:

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:16-18 (NIV)

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

The Lord’s desire is for us to be made perfect in love. How cool is that!

I wrote about this in They Will All Know Me:

Fear of our own imperfection always interferes with the perfect giving and receiving of love. This is the fear of those who see God as a harsh taskmaster that is hard to please, not a loving and tender Abba, Father.

The goal of knowing God results in the kind of life Jesus led on earth — one of complete dependence upon God. We best enter the relationship to which we have been called through childlike trust. We forget ourselves, we run to Papa. When we go to prayer, we don’t fuss around with getting it just right; we sit and talk to Him like the real person He is. We pour out our fears, ask our questions, tell Him we love Him, confess we need help.

It honors Father God to ask for His strength. It pleases Father God when you come because you value Him, not out of a need to placate Him or do your duty, and not waiting until you can pray perfect prayers. What parent would like their child to stay away until they were mature enough to come around?

I have grown and known God more easily as His Little One than any other posture before Him. As you go through life leaning into His love and fatherhood, you will naturally grow up in your salvation, coming to a maturity that will bring you and the Father joy, through the same process all children do. You will come to know your Father’s heart. And when you are all grown up, you’ll still be His tenderly beloved child.

The result of this process is that you will come to know your Father’s heart. And when you are all grown up, you’ll still be His tenderly beloved child. The first step to becoming God’s friend is to be His child in every way.”

(Excerpt from Chapter Nine, Becoming God’s Friend)

What does knowing God as Father look like?

It looks like personal terms of endearment, as mentioned above. It is words of encouragement, sometimes when I haven’t even initiated a conversation or prayed. It is correction, clothed in tenderness. It is that kind of parental graciousness you easily give your own children, but may not have for the children of strangers. It is quick forgiveness. It is the quiet comfort of knowing I’m never alone. Over all, it is that I feel I am precious to God. You just can’t manufacture that sensation.

What holds you back?

What prevents you from being able to lean into the fatherhood of God? I’ve heard all the reasons, most of which boil down to a sense of unworthiness or a lack of faith. Jesus took care of the unworthiness issue.

As for lack of faith — if it’s lack of faith in your ability to know God this way, well, you’re right. You can’t — at least, not on your own. That’s why you need the Spirit of the Lord; He guides you into this relationship gently, beautifully, day-by-day. Ask for him!

If it’s a lack of faith in this being the real truth about what God wants, go read your Bible. All of it. It’s all there in black and white.

I bless you to lean into the fatherhood of God. Meditate on Paul’s prayer, and nurture your spirit with its truths.

One last piece of advice: don’t be in a hurry to grow up; instead, let your focus be on growing deep in the Father’s love. Believe in God as a real father, because that’s what He wants to be to you.

Tonia

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