“Go fix your tea, sweet and creamy, just like you like it.”

I wasn’t expecting to hear that when I sat down to “be still with God.”

After some weeks of busyness and restlessness, I was determined to return to stillness with God on this chilly February morning, not even reaching for the worship playlist on my iPhone. I dimmed the lights so I wouldn’t even be tempted to read my Bible. I just needed to be with God, to rediscover the wonderful rest I have found with Him in past times.

This used to be my habit every morning, seeking the Person of God before any other activity. I would address Holy Spirit, bring my heart to full attention and wait for the sense of His being with me. Not that He is ever absent from me.

I know, by faith, that God is always with me.

We who belong to Christ actually cannot separate ourselves from Him!

Yet there is this wonderful thing that happens when you turn fully to Him, reconnect with your affections for Him and express them. It draws Him nearer, in the same way you draw near to any beloved one.

For instance, I sit with my hubby many evenings, watching TV, three feet apart. Both our faces are turned towards the TV screen, so while we’re physically close together, we’re barely engaged. That changes when one of us turns towards the other and says something like, “I love you!” Or, “How are you feeling?” Or “What are you thinking about?”

Companionship with the Spirit is a lot like that. He is always present, but so quiet and gentle you can easily forget. So on this morning, I was determined to focus on Him. I was actually lonely for Him.

I had begun with some simple words of worship:

I love you, Lord. I need you more than anyone or anything in this world. You alone are worthy of all my worship and any sacrifice. Blessed be your name.

I closed my eyes and waited, for either His response, or for more words of worship to form in my spirit to offer Him.

That’s when He said,

Go make your tea, sweet and creamy, just like you like it.

I smiled then. And remembered something I tend to lose sight of when I give into restlessness and busy-ness: the friendliness of God.

In that moment God sounded just like one of my dearest friends, always thoughtful of my needs, usually coaxing me to relax, smile, enjoy myself, have a cup of something wonderful, and just hang out together. So I made my tea, just like I like it, then sat down to enjoy the friendship of God. I kept pen and journal handy, in case He said something I never want to forget.

The friendship of God is something He offers in the New Covenant. It is something He dreamed of when He contemplated creating a people for Himself. Yet the friendliness of God is one of the most difficult things for most Christians to lean into. To have permission to enjoy.

I always hope, by these writings, to encourage you to step ever closer into knowing God in all the ways He offers, especially His friendship.

The friendliness of God is awesome.

And it is a surprise, a joyful surprise, especially at first. I didn’t always relax into those moments. I had to break through a barrier of legalism to enjoy His friendship.

In the early days of knowing God, I was uptight. I was solemn, a posture I assumed was the proper one for a Christian posture. I expected Him to be the same way with me, this God who created all things. No eating or drinking during prayer, no serving the appetites of my flesh. In those days, if I had heard a voice say, Go make your tea, sweet and creamy, just like you like, I probably would have rebuked that voice, certain it was trying to distract me from having holy time with this Holy God.

But moments like that kept coming, and I began to realize God’s holiness doesn’t mean solemn or strict or stern. It means two things:

First, that I am set apart in God’s sight, special and belonging to Him, and He belonging to me.

Second, that I must not defile myself in any way that would make me unfit for worship and relationship to Him. No unconfessed and permissive sin, no rebellious disobedience, no defiling my body (and His temple) physically.

Reverence for God is always right, but doesn’t have to be solemn.

If you had a healthy relationship with your father, you never lost sight of your respect for him…. but before you were old enough to have a full understanding of how that should look, you weren’t fettered by self-consciousness. You didn’t think before you ran and jumped into your Dad’s arms, or flopped on his lap or tucked yourself under his arm to watch TV together.

The fact that God presents himself to you as Father is no accident. And Jesus told his disciples how to be His friend in John chapter fifteen — through trust and obedience — but he also illustrated the full measure of the friendship He offered them by doing things like grilling fish for them on the beach, to offer them breakfast after a long night fishing. And that was after His resurrection and glorification.

Holiness with God has nothing to do with whether you are quiet or chatty, solemn or happy, sitting in a prayer chair or walking together in your garden. Within your relationship to God, God invites freedom and familiarity, and at times, fun. He is not uptight. Like any person, each meeting will be different according to what’s on His mind and mind, according to my needs and His priorities. Even, if I may be permitted, according to His moods.

Yes, God has moods. At times He is serious, at other times He is playful. Sometimes He is in the mood to draw me into a new truth or study, or help me change some way that’s not good. Other times He is the comforter, inviting me to relax. There is nothing holier than a sweet friendship with the Lord.

It took me a while to let God in, to let Him be my friend. To accept the friendly statements and interest in small things like how I like my tea. To believe He truly wanted to be to me like one of my dearest friends.

With God, familiarity does NOT breed contempt!

As I explained in my book, They Will All Know Me, the path to knowing God is marked with friendship, intimacy, hanging out, being childlike with Him. God is the exception to the rule that familiarity breeds contempt. That only applies to imperfect people. God is the perfect friend and father, and familiarity with Him breeds love, admiration and worship. And even fun, if you dare to believe it.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

Ephesians 1:17