The Woman God Designed:

Living the Life He Longs To Give

The Woman God Designed by Tonia Woolever

Tonia wrote The Woman God Designed to be the book she always looked for, but never found. A book that honors the Word of God and validates its description of life in Christ. That shares the experience of a woman who has tested the Scriptures in real life and reveals how God changed her character, her life and her marriage. A book that explains what it is like to have the Holy Spirit as a real counselor and comforter.

Tonia wanted a book that both taught her how to know and experience God first as a woman, then as a wife.

The Woman God Designed is all these things, with the end result being a rich woven fabric of Scripture, teaching and personal testimony.

Tonia’s Hunger For Abundant Life

The early chapters of this book are intensely personal and transparent, as Tonia describes her search for abundant life, and how she ruined that quest by her own choices. Her words will quickly connect with the woman who has found her life and relationship to God unsatisfying and powerless.

Tonia came to the Lord reluctantly, with no religious background, determined to test everything God promised. She admits, “I wasn’t thinking at all of giving myself to God because it was right or would honor Him. My motives were entirely selfish: I wanted life, authentic, satisfying, nurtured life. I craved real truth and wisdom and the ability to be the kind of woman I surely was not: life-giving, joyful, fulfilled.”

Tonia found all of this and more as she learned to know God. She had come to the Lord as a complete blank slate, having never read a Bible or attended church. She was determined to Some things have to be believed to be seentake the Scriptures at face value and live by whatever God had written there. Did Jesus really mean it when he said he came to give a person more abundant life? Was it true that His sheep could know His voice? Was it real when Jesus said those who had His Spirit in them would have their hunger and thirst satisfied?

As a hungry-hearted woman, Tonia had to know. The Word of God claimed to be perfect and life-giving. The only way to truly know was to test it all. Test it she did, and found every word to be true. A living relationship with the Spirit of Christ IS abundant life.

The best part? A relationship with the Father, Son and Spirit doesn’t require perfection. It simply requires faith: taking God at His Word and living like you believe it.

As a pastor’s wife, Tonia began to teach other women what she was learning and experiencing with the Lord. Life experience became lessons, and lessons became a book. The book became a personal and group study book for women in Christian womanhood, in how to know God, and how to be a great lover to your husband and family. After all, if being a Christian and living by the Scriptures doesn’t make a real difference in a woman’s character and life, what is the point?

What Kind of Woman Will I Be?

Tonia’s teaching shatters the sense of being a victim that commonly plagues Christian women as she asks the question, “What kind of woman will I be?” then provides the answers Jesus offers to every woman who steps into in a life fully shared with Him.

What Kind of Woman Will I Be?
Tonia offers seven answers to the woman who wants God’s design for her:

  • I Will Be Rooted In The Love of God
  • I Will Live By Faith
  • I Will Love The Lord With All My Heart
  • I Will Be A woman Who Knows Her God
  • I Will Be A Lover
  • I Will Be Satisfied By God
  • I Will Be A Liberated Woman

These early chapters help a woman become established in a nourishing relationship with the Lord. Tonia’s goal is to help every woman build a life with God characterized by the strength, joy and fulfillment of being His beloved daughter. This crucial relationship forms the foundation of a woman’s true identity for every issue she faces in life and marriage. A woman who knows her God and is secure in His love can become a wife who brings to her husband and family all the life-giving qualities God built into her design.

The Woman and Wife God Designed

After teaching a woman how to relate to the Spirit of Christ and the Word of God concerning her design, Tonia turns to the role of wife and God’s design for marriage. Personal stories of her own experience — including the failure of her own marriage to a pastor — are blended with sound Biblical teaching to help the reader apply God’s Word through difficult issues in practical ways.

A couple face to face in marriage

God’s Kind of Marriage Covenant

After Tonia’s marriage failed, the Spirit led her and pastor/husband Ron to study the Biblical concept of covenant, especially as it relates to marriage. This proved to be a life and marriage-changing season.

Armed with new understanding of the nature of committed love, Tonia and Ron sought the Spirit’s guidance in daily situations to help them love each other the right way. The Spirit gave freely, and today

Tonia will often say, “The Holy Spirit taught us how to really love each other.” Only the Holy Spirit is present for every private moment between a husband and wife, only He knows the real truth behind every issue, and only He has the power to help change the heart. Tonia reveals all of these things in the chapters on marriage and being the wife God designed.

Then, there’s that word: Submission

Living by the Word of God, however, included submission to a husband. Like all women, Tonia struggled with submission. Why did God tell us to submit to a husband as we would to the Lord — when a husband doesn’t act like Jesus? If men and women are equal in God’s sight, why does one have to submit to the other? What if my husband asks me to do something against my conscience?

Even with a great husband, submission can be a tough issue, and women raised in today’s culture may wonder if it is even still appropriate in modern times. As with everything else in the Bible, Tonia chose to honor her husband as God’s appointed leader of the family, and asked the Holy Spirit to help her submit to him wisely and as God intended.

Tonia admits, this wasn’t easy. It went against the grain of her independent, life-loving spirit. Yet, like everything else God commanded of his children, submission — God’s way, not legalistic but with a heart to honor God and a husband — had a part to play in bringing abundant life. Ultimately, submission is a greater test of what a woman believes about the heart and motive of the God who commands it than whether she can bend to a husband’s leadership. The Woman God Designed explains the difference between legalism and honoring the true spirit and purpose of submission.

Tonia’s powerful teaching gift has found its outlet in a passion to help others learn to relate to a real God in real life. Tonia writes the same way she teaches: drawing the student into the confidential places of her life, weaving transparent stories with Biblical truth. The reader will come away understanding how to know and walk with her Invisible Father, Savior and Friend.

The Woman God Designed is virtually a textbook course in Christianity, womanhood and marriage that has received excellent reviews from new believers and seasoned Christians. Teachers, counselors and women’s ministry leaders have found it to be immensely valuable.

Reflection questions at the end of each chapter help the reader find personal application of the chapter’s teaching. A Leader’s Guide for Study Groups is available. You may download a Free Sample Chapter from “The Woman God Designed” here.

Available as a paperback in the Book Store, at major bookstores, and in our Shammah Ministries Store on

Available as a Kindle eBook on

Leader’s Guide for Group Study sold separately.

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Table of Contents

  1. A Woman’s Search For Abundant Life
  2. A Christian Marriage: Guaranteed to Work?
  3. What Kind of Woman Will I Be?
  4. I Will Be Rooted In the Love of God
  5. I Will Live By Faith
  6. I will Love the Lord With All My Heart
  7. I Will Be A Woman Who Knows Her God
  8. I Will Be A Lover
  9. I Will Be Satisfied By God
  10. I Will Be A Liberated Woman
  11. The Woman God Designed
  12. The Legacy of a Fallen Relationship
  13. The Marriage Covenant God Designed
  14. The Wife God Designed
  15. The True Spirit and Purpose of Submission
  16. The Blessings of Submission
  17. Sarah, the Fearless Woman
  18. I Will Trust In My God
  19. As To The Lord
  20. Issues and Answers