For a season in my life with God, he kept the following question before me:

“What’s it like to be loved by you?”

Needless to say, that question generated a lot of self-examination. It took my focus off of how others were treating me, and helped me become aware of what it might be like to be someone on the receiving end of relationship with me. I came out of that season with a whole new outlook on myself, other people, and even God.

It created such a positive change in my relational life that I offer you the same gift God offered me — the question to ask yourself:

What is it like to be connected to me, to be in my life, to live with ME?

We all put a “self” out there for public consumption, often referred to as putting our best foot forward. But what of that other foot? What of your more intimate self — the one witnessed by those who know what both of your feet look like?

What IS it like to be married to me? To be my daughter or son; my mother or father…. or friend? What is it like to work with me?

One scary (but effective) way to get that question answered is to ask others. Scary, because it leaves you very vulnerable. And it works best if you make it absolutely safe for others to answer honestly.

If you do that exercise, you just might have some delightful surprises, too. There just might be some deeply felt but unexpressed love, admiration and appreciation waiting for you.

I didn’t make a full-blown campaign of it.

As good moments presented themselves with those who mattered the most, I asked. I found that people, whether they adore or are partly annoyed by you, deeply appreciate that you even care how your treatment feels to them. It disarms most, and invites generosity to rise. It might even stir a reciprocal question.

In my season of asking The Question, I also asked the Spirit to open my eyes and reveal the answer as it applied to one person or another, and He did. Gently, consistently, wisely, He let me see. And it was a gift. Not always a comfortable gift, but a gift nonetheless, more clearly seen in the rear-view mirror.

That exercise was humbling and life-changing. And while I won’t pretend that I came out of that season perfect by any measure, it did change my perspective forever. I needed that. I think every human living needs that.

Now, The Question is never off the table.

It’s not on my plate, but it’s like the salt & pepper shakers, always sitting there within reach. Because of all the things I learned in that season, chief among them is that The Question and its answer lie at the top of God’s list of what matters most in this life, and the next. It matters even, and perhaps most crucially, in the matter of how God experiences you and your life in this shared life He made possible.

I may write more of these things in the coming days, but for now, I leave it with you to ponder.

Save

Save